Lockdown 21/28 – To Be or Not To Be

Day 21 of my diary of a LOTR Fan Museum owner during our 4 week national lockdown - in NZ we’re uniting as a country to beat Covid-19 to break the chain and save lives, but …

While we’re winning the war by the looks, there’s been more deaths. Again, I feel such sadness and extend condolences.

But, change is going to happen soon. Like others I’m obsessing about how to move from the new job of STAY HOME, be kind into the next phase.

The old job is Museum operator, and it’s tourist-season dependent. So it’s effectively over, realistically maybe till spring 2021. I’m gutted, and I don’t know what to do. Do I re-open at all? Do I re-open spring 2021, or do I keep the Museum on maintenance, with visits by arrangement as soon as we can gather in groups again?

I have a even older job on possible hold - working in the public service - and I don’t know if I should go back at all or possibly even just for another year?

I’m actually stumped, and more consideration and more thoughts and discussions are needed. The stakes are quite high. I am sure many small businesses know exactly what I mean. The LOTR quote about all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us applies equally to looking forward as much as to how to manage the lockdown.

I imagined that during these weeks I would focus on making more costumes for the Museum, but that hasn’t really happened. I haven’t been joking in describing staying home as a new job. Covid-19 has shut my Museum. Being in lockdown for me has been consuming, requiring emotional and physical resilience - admittedly not as much as is needed by people on the front line, in isolation, or in dire living arrangements.

Exercise, reflection, distraction, kindness have been the tools for getting through it. Making costumes for the Museum, however, is not a “distraction”, it’s part of the old job, and I have had difficulty doing it.

But maybe having to start looking forward again has changed things as I made a breakthrough yesterday! I’m trying to make a second Legolas tunic and I’m stuck on the sleeves. I want to make these with some lovely soft leather but the colour isn’t working for me. Yesterday I had the inspiration to dye the leather. A bit of research indicated I could use food colouring to do this!!! This was fantastic, as I already have the resources in the bunker. I dyed two sample pieces, and they look terrific. All things going well, I might actually make a new costume before lockdown ends … watch this space. (Update in November-December 2020 - I finally finished the costume! It took so long, and I needed expert help - thanks Eva! - and I LOVE it - see new pics, including my nephew modelling it even though he’s feeling under the weather with hayfever.)

But, I still don’t know what to do about the Museum in the big picture - so my heart is with all small businesses whose immediate priority remains safety but at a considerable cost to their livelihood, and who are pondering how to move forward. Best wishes in tough times, Kathy xx